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Movie Review
Like
most teens, Peter Parker wants to be one of the cool kids. Only for
him, the "kids" he wants to be like include a sentient android; a
vaguely Nordic, hammer-holding alien; and a
genius/billionaire/playboy/philanthropist.
Yeah, the rich kids' new Beemers can't quite compare to a quinjet.
Even the priciest designer jeans fall somewhere short of a suit made of
nitinol. The high school football team just skunked its archrival, you
say? Well, that's great. Just great. Really. But have you beaten back a
horde of intergalactic invaders recently?
Yeah, that's right: Peter hangs with the Avengers now and then. OK,
once. Why, Tony Stark—Mr. Iron Man himself—made Peter his very own
high-tech Spider-Man suit. Makes regular ol' high school feel a little
blah, y'know?
But Tony hasn't been in touch lately. And Happy—Mr. Stark's
ironically named assistant—doesn't return Peter's messages. Still, that
doesn't keep the teen from leaving another one. Just in case.
"Just call me," he says. "It's Peter."
"Parker," he adds.
Sure, maybe Peter's superhero alter ego, Spider-Man, isn't as bulky
and intimidating as the Hulk, or as powerful as Vision, or, I dunno, as
Valhall-rific as Thor. But Peter thinks he still has skills to offer the
A team. He's got those web shooters, after all. Not to mention his
super strength and his ability to climb up walls and … those web
shooters. Those would be super helpful against the next alien attack,
wouldn't they? He may only be 15, but Peter's convinced he's already way
more useful than, say, Hawkeye.
But in the meantime, Peter keeps himself busy: If he can't be a
superhero to the world, he can at least be one to the neighborhood.
After school, Peter slaps on his outfit and apprehends petty thieves,
plucks cats from trees and gives the occasional old lady directions.
But one night when making the rounds, Peter sees something strange
down by the local ATM. Some run-of-the-mill crooks are stealing cash
using some not-so-run-of-the-mill tools and weapons. Spidey foils their
nefarious scheme, but he wonders where their the weaponry came from.
Clearly, the would-be robbers got these glowing, high-tech doodads from somewhere—and that somewhere could spell much bigger problems.
But Happy's dismissive. Iron Man isn't answering.
Guess it looks like a job for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.